The issue I have, is that I’ll write too many tasks for the day, the day goes awry and then I feel like a steaming pile of garbage when I haven’t ticked off my eight tasks.
realise that this title is vague and weird – this is because what I have to talk about is vague and weird. Also – trigger warning – I’m about to talk about an assault/murder that cropped up in Irish news today.
The weird thing about being unhappy and living in Negativity Land is that you quickly get used to it. It becomes the ‘normal’ of your life, underpinning everything with just a twinge of bad that means you can’t fully enjoy anything. It becomes irrelevant and cursory.
I understand that not everyone is going to think the same thing when it comes to the big labels. But what frustrates me is the fact that these things have to be categorized so rigidly in the first place and then when your experience is different from the ‘typical’ affliction, you are an outlier and then it is more difficult being understood.
I used to think that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than perfect. That I deserved nothing less, because by Jaysus do I put a lot of freaking effort into loving and being loveable. That being said, my relationship is indeed gorgeous even though its not perfect. Let’s dissect why it took so long for my pea brain to comprehend that.
Before I fell off the face of the earth – I wrote about trying to wade my way through the Big Sad – and things I was trying to do to remain in control while my emotions spiralled.
I’m wading through the big sad and I can see the end of the ocean – but I’m not sure I want to get out just yet. It’s a strange kind of addiction – sadness – when you’ve finally learnt to live your life around it you don’t really want to say goodbye to it.
Last week I took the pre-emptive step of taking this coming Monday off work, to create what I am thinking of as my ‘Mental Health Weekend’. To try and get myself back to that happy go lucky loving life and everything about it mindset.
Nasty. Eight Legs. Unnatural. If you are fond of spiders you are going to want to stop reading right here. It does not end well for the spider in this story time.
I watched this video a few years ago about the difference between ‘high intensity fun’ and ‘low intensity fun’ and clearly the ideas from it have stuck with me.