The Milestone Trap

Here is a post just for me to talk about the fact that I’ve finished my Uni work. I handed in my last assignments yesterday. 9000 words and two months of stress and its finally over.

Thank every single deity out there, I’m so finished with writing essays.

I was thinking though, as I was clicking the button online to submit, how very anticlimactic this all was. Of course, that’s why I have to write about it, so that five strangers and my mother at least have it in their minds that I did a thing.

Then I thought, why do I want people to know?

Is it because I’m somehow more worthy as a person with a degree? I used to think that way, but no, not the case anymore. Perhaps it is that I want some recognition for working and studying full time, supporting myself and my co-parented cat in the most expensive city of Ireland. While that is a nice bonus, I don’t think that’s it either.

I think that after all this time I still come to think of my life as hitting ‘milestones.’

Moved in together. Tick. Got a cat. Tick. Full time corporate job. Tick. And now, Degree. Tick.

And I think that the anti-climactic nature of submitting my essays really threw into relief for me how dumb that is. Its not like life is lived in milestones. It’s lived in between, I think I have a freaking post called the Spaces In-Between or something like that, so why is it that I keep forgetting this simple concept?

I can put it down to people pleasing, too much pressure on myself blah blah blah. But what I really think it is, is society’s generalised view of success seeping into my psyche. I have always wanted to be a normal, content person, and for some reason there is a very cookie-cutter version of that on billboards and buses.

That being said, I am just generally happy to be done with it, and I’m looking forward to pursuing some very non-traditional hobbies now that I have more free time. Although, as a childless millennial, I have way more time on my hands than most other ‘successful’ people in the world. I’ve read 34 books in the last 19 weeks.

I have no idea where this post is going so I’m gonna stop it right here.

Until next time x

Published by Shell Spotted

Art, Insight, Travel

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