The Fear of Admitting a Goal of Childlessness

Raise your hand if you’re a female. Hello, same.

Now…keep your hand up if:

You’ve ever been asked when you’re having kids. (Notice how I don’t use if )

Someone with grown up kids has lectured you on the fulfilment of having children.

Someone with young children has told you that all the pain and grief and sadness is worth it – what are you hesitating for?

You’ve been told you will change your mind if you don’t want kids.

Still got your hand up? You can put it down now, mine is tired too.

And I mean, I’m tired. I am so tired of being made to feel lesser, emotionless, short-sighted, naïve, young, stupid, thoughtless…just because I don’t want to have children. Boom. There it is.

Why is that such a difficult sentence to put out onto the internet? Even now I’m dreading any comments that may come up trying to convince me of my non-ethical ways. A female, remaining childless? Sickening!

And it honestly doesn’t stop. Why is it that people feel they have total right to ask me when I’m going to have kids? What an unbelievably personal question to throw around like a freaking frisbee. Firstly, I don’t know you, secondly, none of your business anyway, thirdly – just go away.

That’s the point I’m at at this stage. I cannot believe that in the times we live in now, I have to be scared to admit I want a child free life. That I feel I have explain myself and rationalise my choice.

Well, you know what. I don’t have to explain. Neither do you. My body is mine. My life is mine. The same goes for all the fantastic mothers who do want their children and are actually just fantastic maternal figures.

We are all women and we are equal. Birthing a child does not suddenly make you a woman. Again, I can’t believe I have to type this out. But here it one more time for the people in the back.


You can hear more of my thoughts on the imposition of children (or rather, people who keep badgering me about children) on this week’s podcast episode. Check out the Confused 22 Podcast on Spotify, Deezer, Podchaser or Podcast Addict.

Until next time x

Published by Shell Spotted

Art, Insight, Travel

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