Recognising that I have actual control over my own body

I know a lot of people struggle with this so I’ll try not to make stupid jokes like I always do, I can’t speak for the sarcasm though, it lives rent free in my writing style now. Whoops.

I was actually thinking about why people don’t like tattoos. Or rather, they like tattoos, they just don’t like seeing people they know with tattoos. I’m speaking to you ‘Karen’, yeah my tattoos are permanent, get over it.

It naturally got me thinking then about my own tattoos, the four of them, and why I got them and what they taught me and how I’ve changed since.

You know, normal person thought spirals, totally normal.

Anyway, I came to realise the main thing I learnt from my tattoos was that I can do whatever the hell I want with my own body. I can’t believe it took injecting my dermis with some ink for me to realise that. I mean I was 18 when I got my first tattoo. 18! Like you would think by then I’d have some semblance of autonomy over my own body.

But it didn’t feel like that. I grew up being weirder than other kids, mostly by my own choices, when you shave off all your hair and start telling your teachers they’re garbage at their jobs, people start thinking you’re a little weird. And to be honest, I was and… I’m still kinda weird.

Anyway, because I was so openly judged on my appearance and my personality and just friggin’ everything, it felt to me like I was probably doing it all wrong. I was torn between doing what made me happy and trying to be like everybody else. Trying to impress everybody else. We’ve all felt that, we’ve all tried to change things about ourselves for someone else.

But when I got that tattoo, dude I realised that none of that matters. I’m marked now with a permanent fixture that reflects back so much love and understanding. Seriously, bump all the other people that want to change me. I’m able to put whatever the heck I want on my body – woah – realisation, this body is mine! And mine alone! It doesn’t belong to anyone else.

Who knew that a little ink would give me so much freedom? I would have gone under that needle at the age of five, if I knew that.

If you want to know what my other tattoos taught me, I talk about it here. You can check out similar ramblings when you search for The Confused 22 Podcast on Spotify, Deezer, Podchaser or Podcast Addict.

Until next time x

Published by Shell Spotted

Art, Insight, Travel

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