Well, not totally cruel…and not really the end, being that it is the 4th of January. More like a beginning, hopefully a good one.
I tend to find the new year content you find on YouTube and blogs kind of cringey, kind of inspiring, but mostly dull. I’ve seen enough, I understand that I can change my life, my habits, my goals and that “the new year is no reason to change, you can change any time of year!”
In spite of my cynicism, I’m actually feeling quite hopeful for the new year, how can it get worse? (Cue: alien invasion followed by the miraculous return of the dinosaurs, thank you).
For the first time I haven’t sat down and written a list of resolutions I wont follow. I haven’t whipped out the yoga mat to start my new workout regime. I haven’t picked up a dead hobby with determination. Instead I am turning inwardly, here comes the cringe, and I’ve decided to work on my relationship with myself.
I know. Snooze. Trust me, I feel the same way.
But honestly, what else is there to do? We can’t go outside (for fear of the human race ending), we cant invest in other people (unless it’s through a screen), so why not. huh?
I’m also coming to terms with the fact that there are some things I don’t like about myself, and instead of shoving it down where the sun don’t shine, I either have to accept these things or fix them. I am doing a combination of both.
While thinking about my relationship with myself, I started thinking about how others treat me, how I feel others should treat me. This is where it gets convoluted, I spiraled from that thought into why people can perform acts of cruelty and be okay with themselves, of course springing from the times where people have been cruel to me and vice versa. Yes, my dear trauma, I am speaking with you in mind. This then led to the very question I address in this week’s podcast episode, why are we capable of small cruelties?
Don’t worry, I shall have a podcast episode up very soon about all these things about myself that either need to change or be loved. In the mean time, let’s explore further how the human race can be actual garbage. Woohoo!
Check it out in the link above, or search for The Confused 22 Podcast on Spotify, Deezer, Podchaser or Podcast Addict.
Happy New Year, Friends.