I think the worst emotion to move past is true disappointment. The kind that falls on you after anticipation and excitement and hope, that sends you spiraling so quickly that you’re out of breath. I can’t stand it.
Unfortunately we’ve all been through it. So let’s talk about it.
I put a lot of faith in people. It upsets me every time I do, because inevitably I get disappointed in one way or another. Last minute cancellations or gossiping sends me into catastrophic thinking faster than I’d like to admit. So I have to wonder, am I part of the problem?
It is a sad stage to get to. When you start thinking that it’s your fault that people are dickheads. It takes a long time and a lot of being let down, to establish a pattern, and start doubting yourself.
An aspect of it is of course my expectations from other people. For so long I believed that if you treat someone well that you will get the same in return. I cannot tell you how long it took me to unlearn that, and I am so grateful I did.
It may sound cynical to say that you shouldn’t expect much from people, and that’s because it is. However, it’s also not entirely wrong. Just because you’re a good friend, sister, uncle, postman…does not mean you will get the treatment you deserve.
But there is a balance to that as well. If you close yourself off from other people you will never experience the good that can come from that. The beautiful memories and discussions that help shape who you are. Disappointment teaches you to be cautious. But please remember that not everyone will disappoint you. Not all the time.
Another thing to come from disappointment is a certain level of forgiveness. Once you realise that other people are in fact, human beings, that make a whole lot of mistakes. If you find yourself wanting to exercise forgiveness, nourish that, it is a beautiful skill and should be coveted.
And yet sometimes actions are not supposed to be forgiven. Those times help you figure out where your boundaries are. How far you are willing to go for people. Those times help you learn about yourself, and give you insight that is vital as you form new relationships.
Disappointment sucks. There’s no way else to say it. But it does offer you some lessons that help you deal with other people as you move through life, while teaching you about yourself.